The Goolie

I take absolutely no credit for this story. Unlike every other story around here, it did not happen to me and I cannot swear to its truth or accuracy. A friend of mine named Mate (pronounced ‘Matt’) told me this one back in 1998 the same day the album Hello Nasty by the Beastie Boys came out. There aren’t that many ‘Goolies’ around these days, but the suburban legend lives on. Mate was working in the automotive department of a Canadian Tire when this guy came in and…

“I need an air filter for my car”
“No problem, I’ll show you where the filters are”

(they walk to air filter section)

“So, uh, what type of car you got?”
“I don’t know”
“Well, is it a domestic or an import?”
“No idea”
“Chevy?, Ford?, Honda?”
“I don’t know, It’s like a…. I don’t know, a ‘Goolie’ or something like that. Yeah, it’s a ‘Goolie’” (shrugs)
“A ‘Goolie’? I’ve never heard of that. Who makes it? Is it a special edition or something?”
“Nope, its just maroon coloured and pretty plain. It’s just a plain ‘Goolie.”
“Huh, well, I’ve got no idea what kind of air filter to give you for something like that...Is it outside in the parking lot?”
“Oh yeah, sure. It’s just outside”
“Let’s go see what it looks like.”

(they go outside)

“There it is right over there.” Says the guy.
Mate walks around the corner of the building to see the ‘Goolie’. The car he sees is a late 80’s Pontiac 6000 LE.


6000 LE